


All in a song

by SonnyGoten



Series: Tony Stark defies Destiny's Will [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And Steve Rogers broke it, Asgardians have soulmarks, Awesome James "Rhodey" Rhodes, BAMF Tony Stark, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Frost Giants suffer The Haunting, Gen, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Moving On, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Not Steve Friendly, Other, Rejecting Soulmates, Rejection, Screw Destiny, Screw soul bonds, So Tony breaks his in turn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmate-Identifying Songs, Soulmate-identifying dreams, Steve critical, There will be a sequel, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark rejects his soulmate Steve Rogers, humans have heartsongs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-07-24 21:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7523374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonnyGoten/pseuds/SonnyGoten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where the only clue for people to determine their soulmate is through the heartsong, finding your one and only is difficult enough, but confessing might be even harder.</p><p>Having lived in Steve Rogers' shadow for so long, Tony Stark did not know how to confess to the man who sung his heartsong when it was suddenly sprung upon him.</p><p>But then Siberia happens, and Tony Stark decides to do the unthinkable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's so quiet

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I'm posting at AO3, so I'm not familiar with all the settings and posting might get a bit messy.
> 
> My intention is to make this a short piece. This first chapter is about Steve's situation. Next part will be about Tony. Then we will move on to (post-)Civil War stuff.
> 
> I've never read the comics, so the fic is based on MCU alone. Be warned that I'm #TeamIronMan where CACW is concerned, so that's why you see the 'Not Steve Friendly' tag.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve Rogers can't hear any heartsong.

When Steve Rogers was a small child, he did not understand the people around him who kept talking about the sweet lullaby that was supposedly heard inside their heads. His mother gave him a hesitant look, as he voiced his worries to her.

"Sweetheart," she said, "you're still so young. Perhaps your one and only hasn't yet been born."

His concerns allayed for the moment, he did not think of the matter any longer.

But as he grew up, his head always remained silent. Even when all the children around him one by one got to hear their heartsong, his head remained woefully empty. One day, as he thought back and remembered the worry in his mother's eyes as she tried to comfort him, a sudden thought came to him. What if he would never have a soul mate? What if he — sickly as he was — was never supposed to have one, because he was going to die young and alone?

He was afraid to ask his mother. Afraid to know the truth.

When Steve reached maturity, World War Two broke out.

One day his best friend Bucky came to him, face pale and eyes red.

"I don't hear it anymore," he said hoarsely.

Bucky's heartsong had died out. His soul mate had died before they had ever met.

"I... know how it feels. Not hearing it," said Steve. "I've never heard mine."

It was the first time he told anyone outside of his mother.

That night the two friends commiserated and sought solace from each other's warmth, the sound of their passion breaking through the quiet in their heads.

When the war reached American soil, there was no time to think of soul mates anymore.

During that fateful war many voices died out. But for Steve Rogers, who had taken the serum and become Captain America, then flown himself into the Arctic ice, a new beginning was waiting for him.


	2. Arctic wind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark hears the arctic wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is un-beta'd.

When Tony Stark was a child, he did not hear any voice humming to him inside his head. No, there was no sweet lullaby whispering to Tony, who only ever heard the howling of the wind. And whenever Tony paid enough attention to it, he felt cold inside. Terribly cold, as if he'd been camping out in the Arctic, wearing only shorts.

He wondered why that was, but he never dared to ask his father about it. He had never been good enough in his father's eyes, could never measure up to the great Captain America, and he didn't want to appear as more of a failure than he already was in the old man's eyes. But whenever Howard Stark would mention Steve Rogers to Tony, it always felt inexplicably colder in the room than it had been before.

It stayed that way, until one day Tony wondered if the reason he could only hear an arctic wind was because fate felt he was not good enough to have a soul mate, that he was unworthy.

 _Then again..._ he sometimes tries to comfort himself, _fate's a bunch of nonsense brought into the world to control the will of the people and keep them weak._

As Tony came to the conclusion that there simply was no soul mate waiting for him, he began to act out. He began to party harder, came home later into the night. It wasn't as if his father actually cared about him beyond getting excellent grades and preparing for the inheritance of Stark Industries. He wasn't Steve Rogers, and so he wasn't good enough for Howard's attentions.

On December 16, 1991, Howard Stark and his wife Maria died in a car accident. Howard died, thinking of Tony as a disappointment.

Tony, unable to cope with the death of his parents, had the majority of Stark Industries' responsibilities handed over to Obadiah Stane, while he began to cultivate the image of genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist for himself.

Then, Afghanistan happened.

It changed Tony's life. The super hero Iron Man was born, and for the first time Tony felt that he was good enough. He was good enough to save peoples' lives, to make a difference in this world.

It appeared that fate was trying to fight his happiness, though.

Not long after he became Iron Man, he discovered that the Arc Reactor, which was powering the electromagnet that stopped the shrapnel from entering his heart, was slowly killing him.

 _Death by Palladium Poisoning, what a great way to go out!_ he thought to himself sarcastically.

In truth, it was affecting him a lot deeper than he cared to admit. He did not want to die, but he wondered whether fate was telling him that he was unworthy of the Iron Man armor.

_It seems that I'm not good enough to be a hero either, eh?_

But Tony was not called a genius for nothing. In the end, using the old diagram his father left behind, he managed to overcome his Palladium dependency.

He felt elated; after defeating the villain Vanko, his life was on a roll! Sure, Nick Fury didn't think he was good enough for the Avengers Initiative, but who cared? He was Iron Man once more, Pepper was running Stark Industries like a boss, and to top everything off, he and Pepper had started off a steady relationship. What more could he want?

He felt so giddy that one day he decided to take his suit out for a joyride. But as he flew in the sky, something strange happened.

The howling inside his head began to diminish. The ever present biting cold in his heart seemed to slowly melt and slip away from his being.

It was as if something was warming him from the inside.

Then, very softly, he heard the first notes of a song. Someone with a deep, gentle baritone was humming to him.

Was humming to him inside his head.

"Uhm, JARVIS?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark?" his ever faithful AI replied in clipped tones.

"Are you humming a song right now?"

"No, Mr. Stark, you never programmed me to perform such features. But with the algorithms you did install for me, I can acquire these new skills in approximately 15 seconds."

"If you're not humming to me, then who is?" asked Tony with trepidation.

It remained silent for a few moments, but then JARVIS said, "Sir, perhaps this is the ever elusive heartsong, that is only known to living organisms with a higher form of intelligence?"

If not for JARVIS taking over the suit, Tony would have crashed into the skyscraper in front of him in that moment .

***

Elsewhere in the United States, Steve Rogers woke up from a seventy year slumber to the light teasing notes sung by a man's voice.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this story is about Tony and Steve not getting together despite being soul mates, I think a voting is in order. 
> 
> Do you want Tony to move on with someone else (anyone in the MCU can apply as long as I know of him/her) or to move on single?
> 
> I'm open to any suggestions! :-)


	3. Project eff U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tries to find out more about the heartsong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags are annoying... and, uh... chapter is un-beta'd.

While Tony was perfectly content to stay with Pepper, he could not help but become curious about who was singing his heartsong.

Why was his soul mate only singing to him now? Why not before? Was it perhaps because his soul mate had not yet been born until now?

 _Please, don't let that be the case..._ Tony thought to himself. He knew it was unreasonable, as no one can freely choose who their own soul mate is, but for some reason it still made him feel kind of like a pervert.

But perhaps it was nothing so drastic. Maybe he simply could never hear his soul mate sing to him, because the other was too far away.

_Yeah, maybe it's like radio frequency... my soul mate could have simply been out of range..._

And, in any case, the voice of his soul mate was definitely sung by an adult male.

"But maybe everyone only hears the adult version of their soul mate's voice?" Tony mused aloud. "Or does the voice grow deeper as the soul mate gets older? What if my soul mate used to be mute?"

He grew annoyed by the questions popping up in his head. Why had no one ever thought to ask these things before? Honestly, with the advancement of science in the last few centuries, shouldn't people have figured out the hows and whys of the heartsong by now?

"I guess I'll have to be the first to probe around," Tony muttered to himself. Then, to his AI: "JARVIS, open a new file for me, please. We have a new side-project to work on."

"Yes, sir."

"Hmm... as for the project name... let's just call it 'Project eff U'."

When JARVIS remained silent, Tony said, "It's a shorthand for Fate Unraveled."

"Of course," said JARVIS.

"Right." Tony tapped his nose for a moment. "Let's see, this isn't a very important project, so I don't want you to waste too much on it. JARVIS, allocate 0.01 percent of your resources to Project FU. Start collecting data on the heartsong from Internet and anywhere else you can legally get access to."

With those decisions made, Tony went upstairs to grab a cup of coffee. In the kitchen, he found Pepper already in the process of pouring herself a cup.

"Hello, darling," he said, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled at him, returning the affectionate gesture.

"Coffee, Tony?"

"Yes, please!"

She poured him a cup and they sat down comfortably at the table. Still thinking of his new little project, Tony gave Pepper an assessing look. They'd never really spoken of this before, but Tony knew that Pepper had a different soul mate. 

"Pepper...?"

"Yes?"

"When did you first hear your heartsong?"

Pepper blinked. "Oh, well..." She frowned, thinking for a few moments. "To be honest, I think I've always heard it...?" Chuckling, she said, "It's wonderful to be able to hear the one fate has made just for you, but I don't dwell on it too much. Everyone knows that finding your soul mate is like winning the lottery, it only happens once in a million times."

"Actually, the chances to win the jackpot are approximately 1 in 14 million," Tony quipped. "Anyway, what I'd like to know is -"

In that moment, they were interrupted by Pepper's cell phone. Frowning, Pepper picked it up.

"I thought today my schedule was free," she said, a hint of irritation etched into her voice. Then, after a moment, a raised eyebrow. "Are you serious? How bad is it?" She bit her lip for a moment. "No, it's fine, I'll be there."

"What's going on?" Tony asked her, when she hung up.

"Embezzlement," Pepper growled. "Nothing I can't handle, Tony, don't worry."

"With you on the case?" Tony joked. "Never."

She kissed him goodbye and hurried towards the elevator.

 Tony sighed, sipping from his cup. "You got that, JARVIS?"

"Yes, Mr. Stark. Also, I would like to inform you that Mr. Rhodes has come to visit you."

"Ah... I see."

Tony was quite eager to ask Rhodey a few questions about his heartsong, but... he still remembered their second year at MIT, when Rhodey's heartsong had suddenly gone quiet. The man had been inconsolable for weeks. During that time, Tony had supported his friend as much as he could, even divulging his own secret, that Tony had no heartsong at all.

Tony wasn't sure if he should risk hurting Rhodey by bringing this subject up again.

On the other hand... he had always told Rhodey everything. To this day, Rhodey was still the only one in the world besides JARVIS (but his AI wasn't a person) who knew about his lack of heartsong. Or, more accurately, previous lack of heartsong.

 _I'll tell him,_ Tony decided. _I'm sure he would like to know._

"Hey, Rhodey, what's taken you here?"

"Can't a man want to visit his best friend?" Rhodey said, chuckling as he did.

"Nope, he can't," Tony joked back. "Want some coffee?" He went to the coffee machine to make some.

"I haven't even answered you, Tones'."

"Yeah, but I already know you'd say yes," Tony teased.

"Of course you do." Rhodey sat down at the table and stretched. "I have a feeling something is going on behind our backs. You remember SHIELD, right? There's some rumor going on about them having shipped back something to the US a few days ago, something related to the Avengers Initiative."

Tony raised a brow. "There's always something going on with SHIELD, Rhodey. They're a spy agency. Want me to find out what they shipped back?"

He didn't wait for his friend's answer.

"JARVIS, find out for me what dirty secret our friends at SHIELD are hiding, will you?"

"On it, sir."

As Tony gave Rhodey his cup of coffee, he decided to drop the bomb.

"I have a heartsong."

Rhodey almost let the cup slip from his grasp. "What!?"

"I have it now. A heartsong."

"Tony that's... that's great!"

Tony frowned. "I don't really understand why though. Why now of all times?"

"Well, it's fate." Rhodey said with a shrug. "You can't rush it."

"Yeah, that's nice and all," Tony huffed, "But that doesn't answer ANY of my questions. Like for example, why does everyone else hear their song when they're born, and why do I hear mine now?"

"Not everyone hears their when they're born, Tony," said Rhodey. "You know that; I heard mine when I was nine."

That was the lead in for Tony to take. "Ah, yes, about that, Rhodey, when you first heard it, how did it sound?"

Rhodey blinked, not understanding where this was going. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean did you hear a woman? Or perhaps a man?"

"I, uh... heard a girl."

Tony leaned forward excitedly "And as you got older, did the girl's voice turn into a woman's?"

"...Yes?"

"Hah!" Tony jumped and threw his hand up in excitement "You got that, JARVIS?"

"Sir, a single sample does not represent the entire population," his AI pointed out.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't spoil my moment, JARVIS!"

Rhodey gave his friend a bewildered look. "Seriously?" he said. "You're doing a scientific study on the heartsong?"

"Well, duh!" said Tony, "You really think I'm the kind of person to rely on old wives' tales?"

And that was the beginning of the unraveling of fate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your replies and ideas. We have lots of candidates right now for Tony; the current score is:
> 
> T'Challa / IronPanther (pro: 11); Aunt May Parker (pro: 5); Bucky / WinterIron (pro: 5); Singlehood (pro: 5 ; against 1); Rhodey / The Big Guns (pro: 4); Pepper / Pepperony (pro: 2); Natasha / Iron Widow (pro: 2); Bruce / ScienceBros (pro: 2 ; against: 1); Phil / Iron Agent (pro: 1); Ross (only here for humor's sake XD )
> 
> I'm not going to decide based solely on the scores, but they do give me an indication of how everyone feels about what Tony's future should be, so I really appreciate all this feedback. Voting hasn't ended yet, hahaha, so keep those suggestions coming in! XD
> 
> As for this chapter, it's set pre-Avengers (2012) where Tony tries to get more clues about the heartsong. This will also give you readers an indication of what the heartsong is about and what it means to humans. Next chapter will be post-Avengers (2012) and will feature Thor who gives us a different perspective.


	4. Of heartsongs and soulmarks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor explains some things about soul mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything un-beta'd, yay!

The two tasks JARVIS was set out do quickly yielded results.

First of all, there was the data on heartsongs collected from the Internet. The data revealed a certain pattern to Tony:

The only way for people to find their soul mate was through song; recorded or directly heard made no difference in recognition, neither did the type of song sung; as long as the singing voice matched the one inside your head, it was jackpot. It also seemed that people who were meant for each other would **always** confess as soon as possible upon learning who their other half was. After this confession, if one or both parties were in committed relationships (with or without children), that relationship would **always**  give way to the soul bond, leading to break ups and heart aches, but also strangely enough to understanding, because you're _supposed_ to be with the one made for you. In other words, the soul bond was regarded above any other relationship.

Tony wasn't sure how he felt about that.

The second thing JARVIS found was that the shipment SHIELD had been trying to cover up was the great Captain America himself. Frozen in a block of ice in all his spangled glory. Like a Popsicle.

Though Tony certainly felt sympathy for the man, being put into the ice for seventy years like that, on some level, Tony could not contain his amusement. He remembered that long ago, when he'd only been a child, he had greatly idolized the Steve Rogers, while also harboring a major inferiority complex towards the man thanks to his father. The Captain had been his hero, someone he had looked up to, and for that reason the Captain America themed ice pops had always been his favorite. They still were, although Tony would never admit to the fact that he still enjoyed the odd Popsicle on a hot summer day.

 _Maybe I should call him Capsicle from now on,_ Tony thought.

His amusement and his fondness for his childhood idol did not last. The first time he met the great Capsicle, things did not run smoothly. Everyone was high strung, as the Tesseract had been stolen by an alien god named Loki, and the arrogant manner in which Steve held himself, as if Tony somehow stood beneath him, did nothing to endear the Captain to the him.

In fact, tensions boiled over soon after, and the belittling comments Steve Rogers threw into his face made him reel with ice cold anger. Not one to back down, he gave back as good as he got.

It all culminated into the events of New York.

While during that alien invasion Tony and Steve managed to patch things up (more or less... sometimes he still wanted to punch Steve in his perfect white teeth), his trip to outer space left Tony to deal with no small case of PTSD.

It affected his relationship with Pepper, to the point where he (and the legion of suits he had build as a coping mechanism) became a danger to her.

While, after resolving the Mandarin case, he destroyed all his suits for her in the end, and managed to stabilize the effects of the Extremis she had been infected with, their relationship continued to deteriorate. It wasn't the case that she no longer had feelings for him or that he didn't loved her, that was never the case. But he still felt bound to his duties as the hero Iron Man, and she could not cope with the fact that he could get hurt again. And he still suffered from PTSD; the Extremis never managed to take that away from him, even though it did allow him the opportunity to remove the arc reactor and shrapnel from his chest.

It was no wonder that Pepper did not show up at the party he threw for the Avengers, after they had successfully retrieved Loki's scepter in a mission in Sokovia.

There was one other person notably missing from the party: Jane Foster.

"So, Point Break..." said Tony, "Your girlfriend's not here either?"

Thor's smile only dimmed minutely before he took a swig of his drink and continued to enjoy the blaring music.

"Jane said she was very busy."

"U-huh, that's what Pepper said too."

Had Thor caught at all that he was being ditched?

Tony cleared his throat. "So, ehm... you being several centuries old and all... or is it millenniums? Anyway, you'd think that fate kind of screwed you over right? What with Dr. Foster being human and dying in a blink of your immortal eye... or is there something you gods have to make your companions immortal?"

Thor gave Tony a careful look. "We of Asgard do have soul mates, Man of Iron," he said. "But I do not know whether Jane is my one or not."

He hadn't exactly asked about soul mates in particular, being careful in phrasing his question in case Jane wasn't the one, but Thor seemed to have figured him out anyway.

"You don't know? You'd think after all these centuries - or millenniums? - you'd have found out by now who your soul mate is," Tony replied flippantly. "Haven't you asked her to sing for you?"

"Sing?" Thor blinked, as if he did not understand Tony.

Tony frowned in turn. "Yeah...? The heartsong?"

At that Thor's eyes lid up in understanding. "Ah, I see!" he exclaimed in his booming voice. "I did not know that the Norns had interwoven the Midgardian souls with heartsongs!"

It was Tony's turn to blink. "It's not like that for Asgardians?" 

_And what the hell are Norns anyway?_

"Ah, no my friend," Thor chuckled, shaking his head. "The Norns tried, but the Aesir souls were not pliable, so they had to find another way." He lifted the sleeve of his 'Midgardian' outfit. "See this? It's a soulmark written in the language of the Norns. I cannot read it but the name of my soul mate is written on the inside of my arm. We Aesir are born with it."

He was about to pull his sleeve back, when Tony stopped him. "This..." Tony muttered to himself, "looks like some sort of code..." He looked up at Thor. "Can I have it?"

"What?" Thor gave him a bewildered look.

"I mean, if I'm not imposing upon you, could I make a picture of that soulmark-thingy?" Tony asked, trying but failing to contain his excitement. "I might be able to decipher it."

Thor chuckled. "I do not doubt your intellect, Man of Iron, but even you could not translate the language of the Fates."

"Well," Tony stubbornly pushed, "can I at least try?"

Thor let out a booming laugh, but in the end he allowed Tony to take a picture of the mark with his cell phone.

"So," said Tony while he send the uploaded the picture for JARVIS to decode, "You said that you did not know if Jane Foster was your soul mate or not, but does this mean that she, despite being human, has the ability to be paired with an Asgardian?"

"It is indeed possible for two souls born in different world or realms to be born for each other," Thor acknowledges. "And such case is not even rare. I would imagine that it is a tragic matter for Midgard, as you Midgardians do not have the means to travel across the nine realms to find your one."

"I see." Tony gave Thor a contemplative look. "Are humans and Asgardians the only ones with soul mates? Or do all higher life forms have one? Are there alien races of higher intelligence that don't have soul mates?"

Thor thought deeply, rubbing his scruffy chin as he did so. "I know not of a kind that is not bound by the rules of the soul bond," he admitted at length.

Tony rapidly fired another question. "Then, do all of them have either heartsongs or soulmarks?" he asked, "For example, your adopted brother, Loki, you said that he was one of those, uh... those Ice Giants right?"

"Frost Giants," Thor corrected.

"Rights, so, what does he have?"

Thor frowned. "I've seen his soulmark, but somehow it always felt wrong to me. I realize now that it is of my father's magic, done to hide his true nature. Frost Giants have neither heartsongs nor soulmarks. Their souls were already ensnared by the Casket of Ancient Winters, so the song could not be interwoven; and their ice cold skin was unable to take any mark. The Norns had therefore decided to bring their soul mate to them through dreams. In every dream of every single Frost Giant the presence of their other half can be felt. They call it The Haunting."

Tony would have liked to ask further, but they were interrupted by Natasha. "Are you telling otherworldly ghost stories?" she asked.

Tony knew from her SHIELD files that Natasha had lost her soul mate during the time when she was still working for the Russians. He realized that it might not be the kind of thing that she wanted to be reminded of, so he decided to direct the conversation to the opening she had given them.

"Oh yeah, Thor here is going to tell us all about the kinds of ghosts and monsters that Asgard has in store..."

Later that night, the Avengers were attacked by a newly born Ultron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for this chapter being basically an info dump! But only Thor could have given the information about the Norns being basically the ones who handpick your soul mate for you, so it was necessary.


	5. It's certainly not love, but...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve mulls over recent happenings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still un-beta'd as always!

The Avengers ultimately managed to defeat Ultron. In the process, they gained Vision and the Scarlet Witch, and Sam and Colonel Rhodes also became full members. Bruce, however, left, unwilling to further endanger the people around him. Clint retired to be with his wife and children. Tony went on a semi-retirement as well, claiming that he needed to work on a new project, something about augmented reality to 'fix' the world from PTSD.

Steve had almost wanted to roll his eyes at that. People aren't robots; they can't be simply fixed of their problems.

Although Tony was still in the picture, giving press conferences about Avengers related issues, and providing the team with gadgets and the Avengers Compound, Steve could not help but be glad on some level that Tony had lessened his involvement with the team on the field. Every time he remembered Ultron and Tony's hand in creating that monster, Steve felt a deep disappointment welling up inside of him. He knew Tony was not a malicious man in nature, but sometimes Howard's son could be such a walking disaster, that Steve wondered what Howard would think if he were still alive to see the things his son had done.

Not that Tony cared how his father thought of him. Steve knew that Tony did not like his father and that Tony did not like to bring Howard up in any kind of conversation.

It was one more reason not to tell Tony about the truth that Steve and Natasha had found on Howard's death. Steve and Natasha had discussed after the discovery of the murder what steps they were supposed to take regarding Tony, and Natasha had ultimately said that, as team leader, it was best if Steve handled this delicate matter. Steve did not need to think about it long, before deciding against telling Tony. Tony was reckless enough as it was without the added emotional burden.

Speaking of Natasha, Steve wondered how she was holding up now that Bruce Banner was gone.

He had thought them to be a good match, but then he'd overheard Clint and Natasha speak at the the safe house.

"I know you spoke to him, Nat," Clint had said. "Did you tell him about...?"

"Yeah, I told him." Natasha nodded. "Red room. Graduation day." Her voice was emotionless. "He knows I'm not a full woman, that my body has been worked on. Just like him, I can't have children."

"What about the red in your ledger?"

If Steve did not have superior hearing, he would not have heard the slight change in Natasha's tone. "He doesn't need to hear about that."

"Nat," Clint urged, "if you're serious about Bruce, then you need to tell him about your soul mate."

"Tell him, what!" Natasha snapped, "I already told him that I am a monster! Does he need to know that my true face is even worse? I can't! It pushed her away, it will make him run as well!"

"Nat, please," Clint tries, but Natasha sounded defeated.

"I killed her family, Clint. I marked her husband as my target and used a kitchen knife to butcher him, and when her daughters caught me in the act I killed them as well." Natasha was breathing heavily. "I did this to her, knowing that she was my one. I pushed my own soul mate into suicide; I have _her_ blood on my hands, Clint. If Bruce knows about this... that I place mission above everything... I haven't changed, Clint..."

Steve shook himself out of the memory. To this day, he did not know what to think of that revelation.

Thinking about soul mates made him think of his own situation.

He had never thought that he was destined for someone, until he was brought out of the ice. When he first heard his sweet voice inside his head, he was so surprised, he almost thought he'd gone to Heaven. He felt happy, when he realized that he finally had a heartsong of his own, someone meant just for him.

But things had changed.

Ever since the alien invasion had happened in New York, the voice, which had been chipper before, became melancholic, and sometimes even erratic. Steve knew, deep inside his heart, that something must have happened to his soul mate for the heartsong to have been affected and changed in this manner. He was almost certain that his soul mate had been present in New York during the invasion.

It worried Steve, but he did not know what to do to comfort his other half. There was nothing he could do to reach out to the other.

Steve sighed and went down towards the workshop of the Compound, where Tony was supposed to be putting the last touches onto the Avengers' gadgets before they were going to take off to Lagos for a new mission. Instead, he found Tony toying with his phone.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Not now," said Tony without looking up. "I'm almost on to something."

"On to what?"

"The tattoo," Tony replied, and Steve had no idea what the other man was talking about. "Thank god I hadn't wiped that picture from my phone after uploading it to-" He stopped for a moment, as if remembering something bad, before shaking himself out of it. "Well, anyway, I've almost cracked Thor's soul-tattoo, or whatever the hell it is those Asgardians calls their equivalents of heartsongs."

"I thought you were upgrading our gadgets," Steve said, thoroughly exasperated by Tony's unreliable behavior.

"FRIDAY is upgrading your gadgets, I'm only overseeing her in case she makes a mistake," Tony said, waving Steve off.

"Some overseeing you're doing." Steve scowled.

"It's called multi-tasking, Cap." Tony's brow scrunched up for a moment, and then his eyes lit up. "Yes!"

For a moment, Steve's heart began to thud harder inside his chest. He recognized the feelings for what they were, and it made him feel uncomfortable. It happened every time he saw Tony smile and his brown eyes twinkle, and he did not understand why. Of all the Avengers in their team Tony was the one that he most butted heads with. Not to mention, Tony was Howard's _son_. 

Steve had been attracted to Howard in the past. Who wouldn't be? The man had been so handsome and charismatic. Seeing Tony, Steve felt that he and Howard were very similar in many things, but Steve kept wondering... was it not extremely inappropriate to feel attraction to the son when you had also felt that way about the father?

"Oh, shit..."

Tony's almost panicked curse brought Steve out of his thoughts.

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Tony quickly replied. Too quickly.

"Are you hiding something again, Tony," Steve demanded angrily. 

"Nothing Avenger-related," Tony said, as he began sliding and tapping on his phone like a madman, "I just don't think Thor will appreciate learning about this bag of cats."

"What are you talking about?" Steve growled, stomping over to grab the phone.

"Hey!" Tony protested when the gadget was swiped form his hands. Steve ignored him.

There were lots of diagrams and numbers on the screen, but nothing Steve could understand. Glaring at Tony, he asked, "What are you hiding from Thor?"

Tony appeared conflicted for a moment, but then said, "It's his heart-tattoo; the Asgardian equivalent of our heartsong. I was trying to crack the code, because it will give the name to Thor's soul mate."

"You're telling me you can read the fates?" Steve said in disbelief.

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up. "I'm probably wrong anyway. It can't possibly be... no. I'm wrong."

"Of course you're wrong." Steve shook his head in exasperation. "No one can read the fates, Tony. Why don't you put your attention back to upgrading our gadgets. We'll be needing them next week."

"Right, Lagos. Next week."

Neither Steve nor Tony knew, but after Lagos nothing would ever be the same again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt the need to go over the red ledger with Natasha again, because I always felt that the AoU movie addressed this poorly. To me the red ledger was always about the guilt Natasha had for the horrible things she had done in her past and her need to repent for it, not about the fact that she can't give birth.
> 
> As for the "voting candidates"... after much deliberation; I'm striking out two candidates:  
> \- First off, Pepper, I may like her, but after some thinking, I felt that it was not right to pair Tony with her, because this fic is about Tony moving forward. If he goes back to Pepper, it means that he's going backwards. Don't worry, in my book Pepper and Tony will always love each other and remain great friends.  
> \- Secondly, I'm striking off Bucky. I really like this character, but the scenarios with him as love interest just won't work, because it'll be too much entangled with dramatic irony. Bucky is the one who (unwillingly) murdered Tony's parents; and he's also Steve's best friend, and the one for whom Steve went against Tony. As much as I love to one up Steve after CACW and see that Bucky can be a great way to do this, I don't think Tony can really move on from the past if he's with Bucky. Plus, dramatic irony is basically destiny's right hand, while this story does a 'screw destiny', so... Anyway, this story is about Tony moving on, so he will definitely forgive Bucky for what happened in his past and acknowledge that Bucky was also a forced victim.
> 
> I'm still considering all the other candidates that were brought up, and yes, Ross is also still available for votes. XD


	6. Soul mate located

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sh!t hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As always, thank you for all your comments! I thought it would be a good idea now to summarize the remaining "candidates" that I'm still thinking about now that Bucky and Pepper are out of the race.
> 
> The old candidates are:  
> Singlehood; T'Chala AKA IronPanther; Aunt May Parker AKA Hot Aunt May; Rhodey AKA The Big Guns; Natasha AKA IronWidow; Bruce Banner AKA ScienceBros; General Ross AKA Iron @ssh0le ( yes, this joke is still running XD)
> 
> New candidates that I've added to the list are:  
> Clint AKA IronHawk; Loki AKA FrostIron; Hope van Dyne AKA IronWasp; Thor AKA ThunderIron; Peter Quill AKA Iron Star Lord
> 
> Other mentioned candidates that I decided not to add or to take out:  
> Phil (not sure if I'll expand into TV/Netflix/comics/etc.); Storm (ditto); Wolverine (ditto); Bruce Wayne (that's DC's genius billionaire playboy philanthropist hahaha!); Strange (I'm still too unfamiliar with this character)
> 
> Lastly, this fic is still un-beta'd!!

In Lagos, Wanda showed the world how little control she actually had over her powers. The world was angry. Angry at her for the deaths in Lagos. But also angry at the rest of the Avengers for what happened in Sokovia, in Johannesburg, in New York... For all the destruction that was caused, all the deaths brought by these great powers, the people demanded accountability: thus, the Sokovia Accords were born.

The Sokovia Accords were the brainchild of King T'Chaka of Wakanda. Made to control the Avengers, they were supported by 117 countries and backed by the United Nations.

They left the team divided.

While Tony saw the Accords as a reasonable first step towards regulation that still needed a fair amount of amendments, Steve did not share his vision. In his eyes, the Accords were red tape that needed to be off the table. The team argued and argued for hours, but no solution came in sight.

Then, Steve received a text message and left.

It was only a few minutes after Steve had gone, that Tony himself received a call and came to know why Steve had departed so hastily: Aunt Peggy had died in her sleep. Tony quickly departed the Compound, followed by Natasha.

At the funeral, rather than taking a seat with the other mourners, Tony lingered in the hall.

Natasha, also staying behind, shot him a funny look. "Why aren't you joining them, Tony?" she asked him.

Tony gave her an awkward smile and shrugged. "I don't think Steve will appreciate being in my presence right now. But never mind me, why are _you_ here?"

"I don't think Steve wants to be alone right now," Natasha replied.

They were silent as the funeral service commenced.

Tony listened with only half an ear to the songs and the eulogies as memories of Aunt Peggy washed over him. Tony had always liked Peggy. She was strict on the surface, but underneath she had been a free spirited woman, and she had always been gentle and kind to him. Tony had never understood how Aunt Peggy had become friends with his father.

It wasn't until he heard Steve's name that Tony snapped out of his thoughts. He heard how Steve was asked to sing Aunt Peggy's favorite song, something old from the 40s. Steve consented.

And when the man out of time hit the first notes of the ballad, Tony's world was flipped upside down.

***

He'd wanted to tell Steve right then and there, but it hadn't felt like the right time.

Steve's first great love had just died. Aunt Peggy had just been buried. It was inappropriate.

No, Tony decided, now was definitely not the right time.

Not to mention, there were the Accords to worry about.

Tony took a deep breath and with great effort he put the matter on the back burner. Work first. Relationships later.

 _I'll tell him after that mess with the Accords is solved,_  Tony thought. _When things have settled and calmed down a bit._

***

Things never got to settle down.

In Siberia, Tony was struck down and left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I would like to ask all my readers:
> 
> Would you like me to expand on the Thor-soulmate storyline?
> 
> It was supposed to be a funny one scene, but several people seem to be interested in more. If I'm going to expand, then you can bet that Thor's soulmark will say 'Loki' and Loki will be Haunted by Thor in his dreams (more like nightmares, haha!). Also, in accordance with this story's "Screw Destiny" themes, they probably won't get together, because Loki hates being tied to Thor.


	7. Reflections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The (ex-)Avengers reflect on the recent events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After some contemplation, I'm going to strike off Natasha (IronWidow) and Clint (IronHawk) from the list. I feel that Natasha and Tony just have too much history of distrust between them (she conned him not once, but TWICE), and furthermore she is too emotionally involved with the Cap ever since CA:TWS, which is why she prioritized the Cap's feelings over her mission in CA:CW. As for Clint, he has a wife and kids, and I just don't think Tony is the kind of guy to come between that.
> 
> Lastly, this fic is un-beta'd. Yay!!

He really hoped that Tony did not take everything that had happened too hard. It really wasn't Tony's fault that he'd been hit, but after all these years, he knew the guy inside out, and knew that Tony was prone to take the blame on himself.

Usually Rhodey would be the one to assure Tony, tell him to pull his head out of his ass and cheer up; but right now, he did not feel like he had the strength to do so.

 _Yup... definitely don't have the strength..._ Rhodey thought, as another dose of morphine was administered to him.

He was down under a few seconds later.

***

Outside, Vision was keeping vigilant watch over Colonel Rhodes.

At the moment there was a quandary going through the android's head that he could not solve. He had been made with a superior intelligence, but even he did not understand how feel hurt without having experienced pain.

When Wanda had send him down through those ten floors of the Compound, he had been unharmed.

And yet, every time he thought about that moment, something hurt inside his chest.

It was utterly confusing.

Just as the events began to play out once more in his mind's eye, Vision received a distress signal from FRIDAY:

Mr. Stark was missing.

***

With a hoodie over her head and glasses covering her face to hide her identity, Natasha went inside a bar to grab a drink.

Thinking back on the events at the airport and the conversation immediately following thereafter, Natasha knew that she had done Tony wrong.

She had been so conflicted about what to do... Every time she chose mission over feelings, people got hurt. Her soul mate had committed suicide before she had even been given a chance to let her know about their soul bond. Bruce had left as well.

And now she had chosen her feelings over mission, and people had STILL gotten hurt.

There was so much red in her ledger; and even though she tried - she really, really tried - to repent and repent and repent again, it was always wrong. She was always on the wrong side.

Was there no way for her to win at this?

As she was sipping her drink, a woman with long blond hair and a guy who appeared slightly scruffy to the eye came to sit beside her. Obviously, Natasha had not been inconspicuous enough.

"Hi," the woman said holding up her drink. "I heard about what happened at Leipzig. How are you holding up?"

"Well enough," Natasha replied. She clinked her glass against the other's. "And you? Bobbi." Turning her eye, she acknowledged the man, "Hunter. You two doing well, after what happened in Russia?"

A small smirk graced Bobbi's lips. "Splendid. Just got rid of an FBI-agent trying to tail us." She leaned forward, conspiratorially, and Natasha leaned in to meet her halfway. "You want to join us while we're on the run?" she heard the Mockingbird whisper to her, her breath tickling against her ear.

Natasha had never had real family. SHIELD, for a while, had provided her something, but when Steve and Natasha had uncovered HYDRA underneath, Natasha had destroyed it all with her own hands. She had been struck hard by it all, but the Avengers had provided a measure of safety and warmth afterwards. Now, that too was gone.

She was on the run, with nowhere to go, and these two were in the same boat. Could she possibly build something new with them?

 _Yes_ , she thought, _even if I am going to be on the list of Most Wanted, I want to try again. I want something I can call home._

She accepted the invitation.

***

Clint was angry. So angry in fact, that he thought he might actually turn green.

He wasn't thinking clearly. Hadn't been ever since Steve had dropped that bomb on him. That Tony had been trying to imprison a brainwashed Bucky Barnes. _Had_ been imprisoning Wanda in the Compound. Even though Tony knew damn well how Clint felt about those things.

He was still affected every fucking day by the way Loki had messed with his brains, so he knew what Barnes needed. Treatment, a lot of treatment - not imprisonment!

Then there was Wanda. Why the hell had Tony locked _her_ up? Shit! It made no goddamn sense! Wanda's brother, Pietro, had saved Clint's life. It was just wrong to do this to the sister of the guy who had died saving Clint's life, just completely wrong!

And now they were all locked in the Raft, because of that asshole, Tony!

He already missed his wife and kids...

Clint knew he wasn't thinking clearly, but he just couldn't sort out his thoughts. As he stewed inside his cell, he wished that he had the powers to Hulk out like Bruce Banners.

***

Wanda, like Clint, was stewing inside her cell.

Though she had clenched her teeth and worked together with Tony as an Avenger (it wasn't as difficult, since Tony had not been on the field after Sokovia), she had never quite forgiven him for the fact that his bomb had killed her family. And it was his killer robot, Ultron, that had killed her brother.

Granted, she and Pietro had been a part of Ultron's creation, but...

... but she could not let it go!

Her old family was gone because of Tony. And now her new family, the Avengers, were ripped apart because of Tony as well. And just as she had been locked inside the Compound, now she was locked inside the Raft.

She hated Tony, she could not forgive him. She hated him, she could not let go.

Like a vicious circle, Wanda was stuck, unable to move forward. **** ~~~~

***

Sam had never known Tony very well. He had mostly hung out with the Cap, because Steve had been Sam's friend. Sam only knew Tony through Steve.

His impressions of the man were ambivalent, as there were various conflicting images running around.

On the one hand, Tony seemed like an irresponsible guy, always flippant with his responses, and often cracking jokes. Steve said so often enough, and Sam could confirm it, because  he had seen this behavior from Tony first hand at various get-togethers.

But on the other hand, sometimes Tony turned around and did something that made him a totally great guy. There was the fact that the guy provided gadgets for the team and the Compound. Sure, Tony Stark was practically swimming in his money, but he still took out the time and effort to upgrade their gear and invent neat stuff for all of them, including Sam's precious Redwing. That had to count for something, right?

There was also the fact that Tony signed the Sokovia Accords, demanding accountability because he was able to see his own faults as a superhero. While Sam hesitated to agree with the contents of the Accords and what hey all represented in the end, he appreciated Tony for his introspectiveness on his own shortcomings and his willingness to do something about them.

Not every man was able to face their weakness and come to terms with themselves in this manner. It was admirable.

So, while Tony was not always reliable, Sam could not really believe that the man was a bad guy. Flawed and fallible, perhaps. But with a good heart... right?

He had made the right choice to entrust Steve's location to Tony, right?

Sam was doubting his own actions, but right now he really wanted to believe in Tony.

***

Steve had felt elated upon walking away with Bucky. His best friend was safe and sound back in his arms after all these decades.

For a moment, Steve felt like kissing his friend, but... that would be inappropriate.

Looking back on that moment when he had kissed Sharon, it also seemed inappropriate now. He had not thought too deeply about it at the time, as he desperately wanted to be consoled after Peggy's funeral, but she was Peggy's grand-niece and he had kissed her so soon after Peggy's funeral.

It was wrong. Steve knew it now, but... well, there was nothing he could do about it. He just had to march on as always.

Outside, T'Challa was standing. It appeared that the Black Panther had followed them. Steve felt wary about the king, until he saw Zemo safely apprehended beside him; T'Challa already knew that Zemo was the true murderer of his father.

"Where is Stark?" T'Challa asked him.

"He's... cooling down," Steve replied. "It's alright, he has his AI to make a distress call and send a plane here."

They boarded the plane, ready to leave Siberia behind.

It was when they were already in the air, that Steve felt it.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

He'd already known something was wrong when he had been inside that HYDRA facility. The heartsong had suddenly spiked with turmoil and grown extremely erratic, but Steve hadn't had the time to listen to it then, because Tony had suddenly flipped and gone off on him. It was Zemo's fault, of course; if he hadn't shown Tony that video...

Steve's entire body stiffened and as a shaky breath escaped his lungs.

Why was the heartsong so soft? And growing fainter by the second?

"Steve, are you alright?" Bucky asked.

And Steve sank down to his knees.

"I can't... I can't hear it anymore," he choked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I thought it would be good to give the perspectives of the various Avengers at this point, to give you an idea of what motivated them, and how they see the Civil War. Some of the Team Cap guys will eventually acknowledge they were wrong and turn around, I think, but that's going to take time of course.
> 
> Ending is a non-cliffy, because this story is about Tony choosing to reject Steve, not about Tony being unable to choose. Still felt it was fitting to end it here, hahaha!


	8. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony picks himself up after Siberia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything un-beta'd!
> 
> The "list" is now:  
> Singlehood; IronPanther; HotAuntMay; TheBigGuns; ScienceBros; Iron@ssh0le ( Yup, still here XD); FrostIron; IronWasp; IronStarlord 
> 
> I decided to strike off Thor, because I'm deciding to expand the Thor/Loki story line, and I don't see Thor as someone who would pick someone else when he finds out who exactly his soulmate is. (Loki, on the other hand... well, that's a slightly different story...)

When Tony finally awoke from his nightmare with a scream, he found himself lying in a hospital bed, all kinds of needles and other entrapments stuck in his body, wires and machines everywhere. He didn't feel much of anything though, which probably was the fault of all that morphine pumped inside his body. Looking around, he found himself in a SHIELD hospital facility, his oldest friend in a bed next to him.

"I requested to be transferred here," said Rhodey, by way of explanation. "I... wanted to watch over you."

Tony was about to say something back when the door was opened, and someone he thought he would not see again came in.

"You're very lucky, Tony."

Phil Coulson. The man who was supposedly dead, until he wasn't.

"Why aren't you buried in a casket yet? Or at least hiding in in a bunker, since SHIELD is supposed to be this underground movement now? Not that you're doing such a good job of it, but-"

"Don't joke, Tony, you almost died," Phil scolded.

"So, did you," Tony pointed out. "Actually, you did kind of die, but then you were somehow revived through this Project TAHITI. I still haven't gotten to crack the files that'd tell me  **how** you managed to be revived after being dead for **days** , but here we are, both of us alive."

"Project TAHITI is none of your business." Phil pulled out a chair and sat down. "But, if you're accusing me of dying and then coming back to life, then I have to retort with 'pot'."

For a moment, Tony blinked. "Pot? Don't tell me 'pot' as in 'pot calling the kettle black'-pot?"

"Exactly that pot," Phil confirmed.

"I..." Tony felt the air press together inside his lungs. "I... died?" he choked out.

"For two hours in fact,"Phil elaborated. "Luckily, you were saved by Extremis; it's a good thing you had that shrapnel removed from your body. And you should thank Vision. He managed to get you out of Siberia and brought you here."

"Great to know," Tony said. "Can I have the moment to myself now?"

"Sure. I'll inform Dr. Cho that you were awake."

When the man had left, Tony fell back against his pillows and sighed. "Thank you for staying here with me, Rhodey," he muttered.

And with that, he promptly passed out again.

***

Those first few days, Tony wondered how Steve, his own soul mate, could have done something like this to him. Granted, Steve didn't know yet that Tony was his other half, but still... to lay a hand on another human being in this manner? To kill another human being?

Tony had wanted to kill Bucky, yes. He had been so out of it after seeing that video... those images... that he had wanted to kill his parents' murderer who was standing right next to him.

Maybe it was because Tony had tried to kill Bucky, that Steve wanted to kill Tony.

But he hadn't killed Bucky.

And Steve was a Super Soldier. He could have easily controlled his strength to such an extent that there was only enough damage done to de-power the suit, but instead... Instead he had smashed into Tony's chest as hard as he could, not caring for Tony's life.

Obviously, Tony's friendship meant nothing to Steve next to what he had with Bucky.

But did Tony's life also mean nothing to him? Had he simply been an unimportant facet in Steve's life? Had he meant nothing at all to Steve?

It hurt deeply to be confronted with the truth, but Tony could not lie to himself forever.

***

It was quickly noted  that Tony had PTSD. There was no way that he could hide the screaming with which he woke up every time, and it was concerning to both Rhodey, Phil Coulson and Helen Cho.

"You'll need therapy," Dr. Cho said.

"I know that," Tony replied, "that's why I developed the BARF."

"The BARF is not a substitute for a therapist."

"Not yet," Tony argued, "but it will be."

He went back to design the exoskeletal leg braces for Rhodey on his StarkPad, that Pepper and Vision had brought for him on one of their visits.

***

Three weeks later, Tony was recovered enough to be allowed to leave the SHIELD facility. He thanked Helen for all her hard work to help him, but when he wanted to do the same for Phil, the man was nowhere to be found.

"Is Coulson out on a mission?" Tony wondered out loud, as he wandered into a laboratory.

"Nah," a young man replied, "he's out trying to work around the Accords."

 _Leopold Fitz_ , Tony's mind supplied to him. _Scottish. Genius engineer. Must find a way to snatch him away from SHIELD in the future._

"Why does Coulson need to work around the Accords?" Tony asked. "They only involve the Avengers."

"The UN version does..." a young woman cut into the conversation, "but the United States is unilaterally making plans to also apply them to vigilantes and to people with superpowers: this includes enhanced humans, people born with extraordinary mutations, and those with the Inhuman gene. They're calling he expansion the Registration Acts."

 _Jemma Simmons. Genius bio-chemist,_  Tony thought, as he listened to the woman updating him on the newest developments in the political world. He instantly wanted to recruit her as well.

He put those thoughts to the back of his mind, and focused on the conversation at hand. "Well, I'm not gonna stand for that. I signed those Accords because I wanted the Avengers to be accountable for their actions, not because I want to have Nazi-practices reinvoked."

Tony sighed. He'd have to do something about this.

"Tell Coulson for me that I said 'thank you for everything'?" he asked the duo.

And he left to fetch Rhodey.

***

There was a lot on Tony's plate. Between his sessions with the BARF to alleviate his PTSD symptoms, Pepper and Rhodey's insistence that he find a real therapist (which, no thank you, he didn't want to unload himself on a total stranger), his attempts to torpedo the Registration Acts, his dealings Ross (whom he was secretly trying to get behind bars by leaking General Thunderbolt's dirty laundry on the internet), and the development of a more improved exoskeletal leg braces for Rhodey, there was no time left to rebuild what was left of the Avengers.

"Rhodey...?" he said.

"Yeah?" his friend answered him, as he practised his movements with the leg braces he was currently using.

"I think I'm gonna quit the Avengers."

Rhodey looked up sharply. "I know I say I'm worried for you, but are you sure? You love being Iron Man."

Tony chuckled. "I'm still Iron Man. I just think I fly better solo. Besides, there's not much left of us anyway."

Rhodey thought for a moment. "True... there's only you and me. Vision. Maybe the King of Wakanda; I mean, T'Challa wasn't officially invited to be part of the Avengers Initiative, but he did sign the Sokovian Accords..."

"You know what?" said Tony. "I don't mind that they bailed. I don't need any of 'em. I just need you. You and Vision. We could be the Three Flying Musketeers or something."

"I'm not sure if Vision is ready yet for new superhero duties," Rhodey commented. "He's still affected by what Wanda did. I think she, uh... broke his heart."

"Ah..." Tony gave a pained smile. "Poor kid. First love and his heart got broken. You're right, we should give Viz some time off. Have him get used to simply fitting in this world first; I mean, he never did get that chance since he first stepped foot into the world, did he?"

Rhodey let his eyes wander over Tony. "How about just you and me? As soon as I get the hang on these braces that is. We could be a duo.  The Amazing Duos."

At that Tony laughed out loud. "That would be great! But Rhodey, your naming still sucks. Amazing Duos, really?"

"Hey, at least it's better than BARF!" Rhodey protested.

Tony snorted at that. "How about we call ourselves The Big Guns?"

***

When a letter from Steve arrived with an ancient looking cell phone, Tony wanted to take a hammer and smash it to pieces.

But then he remembered that this was his soul mate and he refrained.

He could not burn this last bridge. Not yet.

Because despite everything there was still something in him that cared for Steve.

***

It was after another nightmare that Tony decided to tell Rhodey what exactly had gone on in Siberia.

"I can't believe it! When you had gone to Sibaria without a word, we thought it was an emergency mission that had gone wrong or something. But now you're saying, _he_ was the one who did that to you? And he left you after that?"

"Yup." Tony nodded. They were sitting at the kitchen table, both a glass of scotch in front of them.

"That bastard!" Rhodey gritted his teeth. "And now? I know you haven't told anyone this. What did you tell the UN what happened in Siberia?"

"The UN doesn't know anything about Siberia," Tony said.

Rhodey gave him a confused look, and Tony explained:

"Steve and his precious Barnes aren't telling anyone. Zemo is playing mute. SHIELD also won't squeal, because I asked Coulson not to. Furthermore, I might have donated a good amount of money to their science division. As for Vision and Pepper, I told them not to tell anyone as well. And T'Challa doesn't know. He apprehended Zemo outside; and thanks to the dear Captain, he thinks I was simply 'cooling off' after having gone berserkers. Wakanda's King is not going to make a mountain out of a molehill, when he thinks Captain America and Iron Man are just having a little squabble.

"So, you see," Tony recounted, "no one knows. The UN thinks T'Challa was the one who had gone to Siberia to capture Zemo."

"So, you're letting him get away with this?! That's- That's just-!!"

Rhodey was livid. Tony had never seen his friend so angry before.

"Calm down, Rhodey," said Tony. "Please. I'm doing this for Iron Man and for the public."

"How is this doing anything for Iron Man or the public?!" Rhodey yelled. "Most importantly, how is this doing anything for **you**!?"

"If the public came to know that Iron Man was beaten to death by a rogue Super Soldier, what do you think will happen, Rhodes? It will be mass hysteria. I can't afford that, not when the Registration Acts are looming over our heads. I need the public to have faith in Iron Man."

Rhodey narrowed his eyes measuringly. "Tony, I know you. Are you really not doing this for Steve?" **** ~~~~

"I..." Tony bit his lip, a pained look etching into his eyes. "He's my soul mate Rhodey."

Rhodey almost fell off his chair. "WHAT!?"

"I know. It's fucked up."

"Have you told him that you were his mate?"

Tony shook his head. "How could I after what had happened?" He let out a bitter laugh.

"But then... when did you know?" Rhodey asked.

"During Aunt Peggy's funeral."

Rhodey shook his head and let his head fall into his hands. "I don't even... I don't know what to think of this. Your souls are meant for each other, but he almost kills you. What were the fates thinking to pair you with him of all people?"

"Probably that I'm the universe's butt-monkey."

"What are you going to do about this?"

Tony sighed. "I don't know."

Rhodey hesitated. He wasn't sure what to say to comfort his friend. There was no way out of this mess. _But then..._ he thought, _if anyone can solve a mess, it's Tony._

"Tony... normally, when people realise who their soul mates are, they tell them as soon as possible. The soul bond is the purest, most honest bond. I've never heard of a soul bond being hidden once it has been revealed to one half of a pair."

"Are you suggesting that I should tell him?" Tony asked incredulously.

"No." Rhodey shook his head. "Normally, your soul mate wouldn't have to attempted to kill you. So, I'm saying that there's nothing normal about this. Besides, you pick your BARF over a normal therapist, so tell me again how you always try to fit in with normal, eh, Tony?" He reached out and patted Tony on his arm. "I know you, you always manage to pick yourself up in the end. If anyone can find a way to deal with this, it's you."

***

After that conversation, Tony decided that Rhodey was right. He, Tony, had never adhered to being normal. He simply followed what he believed in.

What was his heart telling him right now?

It told him that he was hurting, it hurt that he had meant so little to Steve. It made him feel rejected, unworthy; a feeling that he already knew intimately from his past.

But more than that, his heart told him that Steve was not a good man. Steve was the kind of man who picked one friend over another. The kind of man who was willing to **kill** one friend for the sake of another. And he was the kind of man who would risk the safety of the entire world, for that single friend. Whether Steve was Tony's soulmate or not, that was simply not acceptable.

Deeply inside his heart, Tony found his answer.

_A man with his character... is not the kind of man I want to bind my soul to._

Tony had decided. "Say FRIDAY?"

"Yes, Boss?"

"Has there ever been a soul mate rejected?"

It was silent for a moment, as the AI investigated over the internet.

"A preliminary search suggests that no such case exists, Boss."

"Huh, what do you know? I'll be the first."

"You're a trend-setter, Boss."

Tony smirked and grabbed the cellphone which Steve had send.

_Rhodey says that the soul bond is the purest, most honest bond. Well, I can be honest._

***

Steve picked the phone up on the second ring. "Tony? Is there anything you need from us?"

"Hi Steve, so nice to hear from you from Wakanda. Say hi to the others for me."

Steve grimaced. "Tony, I didn't give you the phone so you could make social calls. It's for when you need us to come help."

"Sorry." Tony's voice suggested that he did not seem sorry at all. "But you did tell me once to never keep secrets from you, so I thought I should let you know something."

Steve rolled his eyes at the other man's temper. He was probably going to unload anger on Steve over the phone. Well, Steve did not have to put up with that.

He was about to hang up, when the melody hit him. It was his soul mate. Singing to him.

**_"Look inside... Look inside your tiny mind... Now look a bit harder." ~~~~_**

Tony was singing to him. His soul mate was Tony.

**_"Cause I'm so uninspired... So sick and tired... of all the arrogance you harbour..."_ **

Steve's breath was caught inside his throat as he listened to the other sing. But to his trepidation, his soul mate was not making a love confession to him. No, this was a song of rejection.

**_"Fuck you... Fuck you very, very much... Cause I hate what you do... And I hate your whole crew..._ _So please don't stay in touch..."_**

It was only after Tony was halfway through the song that Steve finally re-found his voice.

"Tony,"  he said, but the other man did not stop.

_**"Do you get... Do you get a little kick... Out of being small minded... You want me to be like my father... It's his replacement you're after..** _ **."**

"Tony, please," Steve tried, but Tony continued to sing undaunted. **** ~~~~

**_"You say... You think we're in a Civil War... Well you're who started this one..."_ **

"Tony, it wasn't my intention to-"

But Tony began to sing louder to overpower his voice. When he had finished his song, he cut off the line.

The phone fell from Steve's grip.

***

When Tony was done, he did not use the hammer on the phone. It was not worth it. He gave the phone to Dum-E to use as scrap metal.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to give a big credit here to Surprise_Beta. It was always my intention to have Tony reject Steve through a song, but I hadn't decided what song to use, until you pointed out Lily Allen, so thank you!
> 
> Also, thank you to ApocalypticPhoenix for pointing out that the update date was stuck at the 18th of July. I hadn't even realized it, but apparently it doesn't change automatically so I have to do it myself.
> 
> \-----  
> The Big Guns will return...  
> (So will Loki, T'Challa, Bruce, Captain Asshole, and possibly some others.)
> 
> The sequel is being posted. The story is called [Broken Chains](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7908013/chapters/27109860).
> 
> Alternately, if you liked this story, please consider visiting [my website](https://sonnygoten.wordpress.com/about/).


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